The Pro Se Parent Catch-22: When Poverty Means Your Child Has No Protection
- Shan L/E Wayshower
- Oct 8
- 5 min read
The Trap That Targets Poor Families
Imagine you're facing a lawsuit. You can't afford an attorney, so you represent yourself—it's your legal right. This is called appearing "pro se" (Latin for "on your own behalf").
Now imagine your child gets named in that same lawsuit.
Here's the trap:
You can represent yourself ✓
But you cannot represent your child ✗
Your child needs their own attorney ✓
You can't afford one ✗
Your child is now unrepresented and vulnerable ✗
This is the Pro Se Parent Catch-22.
And it's being weaponized against families across America.
How the Law Creates the Trap
Federal courts have ruled that a non-attorney parent may not appear pro se on behalf of their child, except in very limited circumstances like Social Security appeals.
The reasoning seems logical at first:
An adult choosing to represent themselves accepts the consequences for themselves
But if a parent represents a child, the child suffers the consequences
Therefore, children need their own attorneys
But here's what this rule ignores:
What happens when the parent cannot afford an attorney for the child?
The answer: The child goes unrepresented.
The Real-World Impact
In the case of Grizzell v. San Marcos Unified School District, a mother whose children were subjected to racial harassment and discrimination at school tried to sue pro se on their behalf. The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled she could not represent them—even though there were no pro bono attorneys available in her area.
The court's message was clear: "Your children have been harmed, but because you're poor, they have no recourse to justice."
The court acknowledged this created "grave implications for children's access to justice"—but applied the rule anyway.
How This Gets Weaponized
Attorneys and landlords know about this gap.
And some exploit it deliberately:
Step 1: Identify pro se parent
The parent is representing themselves, signaling they can't afford an attorney.
Step 2: Name the children
Include minor children as parties/defendants in the case.
Step 3: Exploit the gap
Parent cannot represent the children (pro se Catch-22)
Parent cannot afford attorneys for the children
Children are now legally vulnerable
Step 4: Use as leverage
"Your child will have a judgment against them." "Your child's credit will be ruined." "Your child's rental history will be destroyed." "Leave now or your child suffers."
This is psychological terrorism through legal procedure.
Who This Targets
The Pro Se Parent Catch-22 overwhelmingly harms:
Poor Families
61% of American households cannot afford a $1,000 urgent expense—let alone $3,000-$20,000 for a custody attorney.
If you can afford lawyers, your children are protected.
If you can't, they're not.
Single Parents
Who are more likely to:
Represent themselves in court
Face housing instability
Be targeted by these tactics
Communities of Color
Who face:
Higher rates of eviction
Less access to legal resources
Discriminatory use of the legal system
This is class-based exploitation dressed as legal procedure.
The Constitutional Problem
The 14th Amendment guarantees: "No state shall deprive any person of life, liberty, or property without due process of law."
Children are persons.
But the Pro Se Parent Catch-22 means:
Children CAN be deprived of protection
Children CAN be named in legal proceedings
Children HAVE NO automatic representation
Children GET NO due process if their parents are poor
This is a constitutional crisis.
Real Examples
Housing Court
A landlord names a mother and her three children (ages 2, 5, and 8) in an eviction case. The mother represents herself. The children have no representation. The landlord uses this to pressure the family to leave immediately—even though they have defenses to the eviction.
Family Court
A father files pro se for custody. The mother files pro se in response. Their child becomes the subject of the dispute but has no one speaking FOR the child—only parents speaking about their own interests.
Civil Cases
Children subjected to discrimination and abuse at school have no recourse if their parents cannot afford attorneys and cannot represent them pro se.
Why This Matters to Everyone
Even if you're not pro se now, this could affect you:
Economic shock
Sudden medical bills, job loss, divorce—any crisis could put you in a position where you can't afford attorneys.
Your children's future
If your child is named in a case while you're pro se, they could have:
Court judgments against them before they're 18
Ruined credit before they can legally sign contracts
Eviction records before they can legally rent apartments
No legal protection simply because you're poor
System integrity
A justice system that only protects children of wealthy families is not a justice system at all.
The Solution: M.G.'s Law
Vermont needs legislation that:
1. Prohibits Weaponization
Minor children cannot be named in civil proceedings without:
Verification of actual legal obligation
Court approval
Demonstration that naming is necessary
2. Provides Automatic Protection
When a child must be named:
Automatic appointment of guardian ad litem
Independent representation of child's interests
Court oversight before any action affecting the child
3. Closes the Pro Se Catch-22
Pro se parents can represent their children in limited circumstances
ORÂ the court must provide representation
Children cannot be left unrepresented simply because parents are poor
4. Creates Accountability
Attorneys who name children without proper legal basis face:
Sanctions
Attorney's fees
Disciplinary action
The Bottom Line
The Pro Se Parent Catch-22 means:
If you're wealthy, your children have legal protection.
If you're poor, they don't.
That's not justice.
That's class warfare.
And it needs to end.
What You Can Do
1. Sign the petition at MGsLawVT.org
2. Share this information with other parents
3. Contact Vermont legislators:
Tell them about the Pro Se Parent Catch-22
Ask them to support M.G.'s Law
Demand equal protection for ALL children
4. Spread awareness:
This trap exists in most states
Most families don't know about it until they're caught in it
Knowledge is power
The Choice Before Us
We can continue a system where:
Poor children have no legal protection
Attorneys can weaponize poverty against families
Constitutional rights depend on your bank account
Or we can say:
Every child deserves due process.
Every child deserves protection.
Every child deserves justice.
Regardless of their parents' wealth.
The Pro Se Parent Catch-22 isn't a bug in the system. It's a feature—one that benefits those who exploit the vulnerable. M.G.'s Law would change that. Join us in closing this gap.
Sign the petition. Protect all children.
In the center: a parent and child, trapped in the "Pro Se Litigant" circle. They stand together, but they cannot proceed together.
Around them: a maze of legal procedures, walls of law books, complex rules they're expected to master.
In the corner: a "Legal Aid" sign, raised up on a platform. There's a ladder—but it's sized for the adult. The parent might be able to climb it. The child cannot reach.
This is the Pro Se Parent Catch-22:
The parent can represent themselves. They can try to climb that ladder, navigate that board, find help.
But the child? The child is stuck. Too small to climb. Unable to represent themselves. And the parent cannot represent them either.
So the child stands there, in the center of the board, surrounded by legal complexity, with help visible but unreachable.
The game is unwinnable. Not because the parent isn't trying. But because the rules make it impossible.
M.G.'s Law would change the rules. It would say: if help is available, children must be able to reach it. If parents are navigating this maze, they must be allowed to bring their children with them.
Or better yet: children shouldn't be on this game board at all.